My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize