Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
