If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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