I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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