He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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