When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
