I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
