I must be too annoying 4 u.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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