She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
