So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
