he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
