do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
