so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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