It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
