My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
