I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
