Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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