Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize