I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
