So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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