This girl is more easily done than said...
i think my mom watched the whole time
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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