He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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