You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
