She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
