i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize