The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
