Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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