I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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