I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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