I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
