There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
