dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
