guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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