so explain again why im purple
no
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize