Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
