So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
