I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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