how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
