chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
