This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
