I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize