Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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