i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize