Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
