Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
