The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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