I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
