Porn is love you can see.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
