i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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