I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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