And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
