3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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