You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
