After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
