forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
