In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
