singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
