I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize