I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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