My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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