Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This house was built for laser tag.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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