so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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