And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
