pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
