Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
