You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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