How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I haven't been this sober since birth.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
