What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
